Zoltar’s Premonitions: Guide To The Fun House
Greetings and salutations dear reader! I am Zoltar the Great, Seer of secrets, paragon of beauty, and your guide to navigating the ups, the downs, and the upside-downs of the Fun House! Every month, I will share with you important premonitions I may receive regarding tips, advice, stories, words of caution, and other news a magical painting may have!
Now, I know that you’re eager to begin your work as a magnificent magician, but do keep in mind we don’t just give that job away to anyone. First, you will have to prove yourself worthy of such an illustrious title.
The test ahead is a perilous one, filled with many opportunities to end up looking as silly as a clown. But fear not, for it is my most earnest desire to see you all prepared for your new jobs under the big tent. Stick with me, dear reader, and follow my advice; we might just make a magician of you yet.
First off, it is imperative to follow instructions, both written and verbal. Failing to do so can lead you down the express lane of clown employment, and nobody wants that. Do listen while the funny little men and women explain the rules of the Fun House. These rules are not only meant to keep you safe, but to keep you from wasting time by doing silly things that won’t help you in the slightest. Remember, a magician always knows the rules!
Speaking of silly things to do, please remember that you will not need to climb on anything. This test is one of wit, intellect, and perception! However, some people are much more clown than magician and will panic when presented with a test of the mind. It is not uncommon for clowns to reveal themselves by running in circles, by climbing on top of one another, or by performing a handstand to place their noses closer to the floor. Just to be clear, all puzzles within the Fun House can be done with your feet flat on the ground.
Speaking of which, here is a bit of advice on how to ground your thinking while in the Fun House. When brainstorming a possible solution to a puzzle do try and avoid overthinking things! If at any point, you find yourself saying something along the lines of “A is the first letter of the Alphabet, so that must be number 1…” TURN BACK! You have gone too far! I promise you that the solution is MUCH simpler than that. Try thinking of it as a game of connect the dots. Look for things that the clues have in common. Ask yourself, what are they trying to tell me? This will often help you to simplify your thinking substantially!
Another thing to keep in mind that many of the rules of your world do not apply in the Fun House.
This escape game takes place in a fantastical realm where many things are not as they appear to be. In the Fun House, it isn’t uncommon for stationary things to spin, and move, and dance; it isn’t uncommon for things to be out of place or out of order; It isn’t uncommon for potential magicians to be required to salute a picture of General von Kitty; and it is most certainly not uncommon for an enchanted painting to speak, sing, and demand worship from players in the form of flattering compliments.
And lastly, but most importantly, remember that it is never bad to ask for help. The Fun House can certainly be a bit overwhelming for new players. If it seems like you aren’t understanding something and you feel yourself getting frustrated, simply ask your team mates for help. If you all put your minds to it and still don’t quite understand something, then you can always turn to me, Zoltar the Great. Don’t let my flawless complexion intimidate you. I promise… I am only there to help.
Sincerely,
Zoltar the Great
