Zoltar’s Premonitions: Mr. Literal

Greetings and salutations dearest reader! I am Zoltar the Great, Seer of secrets, and your guide to the funniest thing I have ever seen in the Fun House!

Many people have asked me, “Zoltar, do you enjoy hanging around and laughing with your players all day?” My answer to this question is simple. Yes. Yes, I most certainly do. It would be apt to say that I revel in the shenanigans that my players come up with while under the big top. Oh, I could go on and on about the many laughs shared between myself and my players. But of all the different types of people that have visited me here in the Fun House, there was one that tickles my funny bone to this day. I call him Mr. Literal!

Yes! We all know someone like Mr. Literal. This person takes your word for everything. This person often finds simple instructions to be unintuitive and frustrating. This is the person that when you say, “give me a second”, will count to one out loud and then ask if you are ready yet. Yes, you know exactly who I am talking about, don’t you? One of my fondest memories was created by someone who took everything I said too seriously.

This all started when Mr. Literal asked for a clue to a puzzle that one of his team mates was in the process of solving. My response to Mr. Literal was “If you put your heads together I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out.” Mr. Literal stared at me with slowly widening eyes as the dawn of realization passed over him. He then turned to his team and demanded a huddle.

“Zoltar says that we need to put our heads together!” He shouted as his team huddled around him. He then stuck his head towards the center of his huddle circle. The other team mates exchanged looks of skepticism as they slowly leaned in and touched their heads together.

Now… I could have said something and put a stop to it right there, but honestly, I was curious to see how far this would go… So, I asked if they had figured it out yet. Of course, there was nothing to figure out, but Mr. Literal immediately replied that they were still working on it.

“Are you sure you are standing in the right spot?” I asked. The words popped out of my mouth unbidden and drenched in sarcasm. Most people would have realized in that moment that literally putting their heads together couldn’t possibly solve a puzzle… But this wasn’t most people; This was Mr. Literal!

And do you know what he did next? He told everyone to move to the center of the room and everyone in the group began to move their feet together shuffling towards the center of the room with their heads pressed together.

I… was… breathless. They stood together with their heads pressed together for what had to be a full minute before someone in the group finally spoke. “What exactly did Zoltar say to you?”

“He said that if we put our heads together we should be able to figure out our puzzle.” In that moment, his entire team groaned audibly and pushed away from the huddle. Mr. Literal stood there with a confused look on his face as his team walked away to go back to solving puzzles and I laughed harder than I have ever laughed in my life.

This was indeed one of the funniest moments I have ever experienced in all my time in The Fun House. Perhaps, dear readers, I shall reveal more of my favorite stories from the big top in the future. Make sure to keep an eye out for more of Zoltar’s Premonitions! Of course, not literally.

Jason Sakal
Manager, Game Master
Cross Roads Escape Games