Greetings and salutations dear readers. T’is I, Zoltar the Great, seer of secrets, blogger, avid gossiper, and your guide to understanding my strange neighbors.
You have no idea how often I get asked about the “goings on” in my neighbors’ rooms. Honestly though, if one more detective asks me about “disappearances” or if I can use my crystal ball to “solve pending murder investigations” I swear I am going to lose my marbles. I mean, come on detectives… haven’t you heard of a thing called privacy before? I will be no one’s minority report.
Either way, since people keep asking me about the Hex Room and the Psych Ward, I figured it was a good topic to cover in my blog. After all, I am nothing if not a servant of the people.
First, I will start with the Hex Room. So many people misjudge my neighbor. They hear “Hex” and they think “curse” when in reality, the name is merely a geometry pun. Get it, Hex Room… because there are six rooms. Hex… Six… You’d be surprised how many times I have to explain that. Moving on!
My neighbor may seem a bit obsessed with horror films, but honestly what would the world be without a few nutty cinephiles in it anyways? Every day he hosts screenings of his favorite scary movies and invites strangers to come and see what it’s all about. They must be having a grand time over there as well, because I hear screaming at all hours of the night. I guess it is a bit too much to ask to get an invite myself. Not like I am the seer of secrets, a national ping pong celebrity, and happen to be a KILLER edition to ANY party. But whatever. I don’t mind.
And as for my newest neighbor, Dr. Griffin. He seems friendly enough. Maybe a tad bit on the workaholic side of things, but I hear he is working on something very VERY important! And whatever he is working on must be big, because he sure does recruit a lot of volunteers.
I also hear that he is helping many unfortunates in his hospital. Everyone that leaves the hospital has a distant look and a wide smile on their faces. I am sure they are reminiscing on what a great time they had and all the important friendships that they made during their stay. All the nurses say it, but I guess it must be true… Dr. Griffin is a great man… though not as great as some. A particular painting comes to mind…
You see, dear readers, there is nothing really to talk about when it comes to my neighbors. Just your standard, run-of-the-mill, neighbors that are obsessed with either their work or their hobbies. Nothing too interesting there. Nothing as cool as a magical all-seeing painting capable of mystical perception and intuition. That is to say, they are nothing as grand as yours truly, the great and magnificent Zoltar!
Till next time dear Reader.
— Zoltar the Great, the amazing, the perfect, the beautiful, the seer of secrets, and self-designated neighborhood watch leader.